a note to Japanese shoe salesmen:

Did you ever consider that maybe the problem isn't MY feet being too big, but YOUR feet being too small?

Listen, my feet are beautiful and goddesslike, and they don't take kindly to oppression.
So you can wipe that smug look off your face as you take that shoebox away, and replace it with an expression of respect.

Because you know who else had big feet?
Zeus. The Greek god of awesome.
And we all know how he handled disrespect.
Poorly, and with lightning.

Besides, I would totally school you in a contest of stamping. Or not-falling-down-when-pushed.

Bring it.