The Story of Bee

The discovery of "Bee" Darts Bar was a very exciting development. Why? Because unlike all the other bars within walking distance of our apartment, this one stays open until 5:00am EVERY NIGHT. You see, Jen and I, like all the other ECC teachers in town, have most of our work shifts from 3:30 to 9:30 pm. But factor in the commute, the post-work meal, and the need to change clothes and freshen up after work, and we usually find ourselves at 11:30 or so looking for somewhere to go. What's the use of a bar that closes at midnight for people like us? We stay up late every night, and sleep in every morning, and we need to be accomodated, goddamnit. "Bee" Darts Bar would be just the place to fulfill our needs.

Where should I start...
Bee's bizarre overblown decor, resembling something like S&M-meets-classy?
Multiple colors of mood lighting?
Wealth of board games? (Uno! Jenga! ...Crocodile Dentist?)
Large plasma screen TVs playing nonstop Japanese music videos?
Of course, its big selling point, like many other "American Darts Bars," is its long row of state-of-the-art electronic darts boards.
And the number-one aspect of all Japanese bars: NO TIPPING. That's right. I've tried tipping in Japan a few times for various things, and it always confuses the hell out of the recipient.

Needless to say, the drinks are expensive and you pretty much have to come pre-loaded, lest you spend your entire paycheck on 800-yen watered-down rum and cokes. But overall, it's a good place to be, especially when you are lucky enough to witness an extremely drunk man fall down three steps, land directly on a small suggestively-dressed Japanese girl ("squeal!"), and remain unconscious at the bottom.

But that's neither here nor there.

The first time we went to Bee, we had in tow an American named Christian who we had just met on the street. We drank, we played Uno, we played darts, and we had an okay time, despite being a bit weirded out by our guest. So last week, Jen and I went back by ourselves, having been unable to find anyone to invite out at 1am. Once again, we sat at a small table in the middle, where we could see and be seen. Well, one thing led to another, and we found ourselves playing darts with two young Japanese bartenders named Takuya and Gottsu.

I worked the charm, and Takuya fell in love.

I know this because he told me. Repeatedly.
"I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!"
or rather...
"I LUB YOU! I LUB YOU!"
As an English teacher, I can say that it would seem he has been practicing his "L" sounds.

"Uhhhhhh...I love you too, Takuya."

So there I was, midway through the game, about to throw my dart. Right foot forward, right arm extended, eyes on the prize. I had been playing my best game ever, and Jen and I had a commanding lead over our Asian opponents. Takuya was to my right, a little too close for comfort, but I wasn't going to be psyched out. I drew my arm back, and...

"You're beautiful! You're beautiful! You're beautiful, it's true!"

Takuya was singing to me. Loudly. Right next to my ear.

Taken aback, I laughed it off with a "James Blunt desho?" and finished my turn.
Gottsu was up next, so I booed playfully. I then heard a second "boo!" echo my own, a male one. Sure enough, I looked over at Takuya, who was grinning and waving two thumbs down at his own teammate.

Oh, Takuya.

Well, Jen and I ended up winning the game, with a total of 267 points, five or six instances of "I LUB YOU!" and one more refrain of "You're Beautiful."

While Takuya and Gottsu were off getting us our check (after they had stalled us for as long as possible), a third bartender scurried over for a piece of the action. He brought with him a plastic replica of a Japanese snack called Calpis, which he instructed us to shake in turn after rolling a die. Jen and I looked at each other, shrugged, and did as the man said. He watched with wide-eyed excitement, tension building, until finally the thing halfheartedly popped a few plastic french fries onto the floor. Well, this was hilarious to him. He clapped and laughed at our expense, picked up the pieces, and ran away just as briskly as he had come.

We paid our insanely expensive bill (free drinks for flirting? not in Japan!) and headed for the door. Our bartender friends were all lined up there to make sure we knew the exact location of the door, gesturing and bowing wildly, and they made us promise we'd come back soon.

Who am I kidding, of course I'll go back. I love the attention.